To say that it’s been a whirlwind stretch is a supreme understatement. Of course the marathon bombings, shootouts, subsequent manhunt and citywide lockdown were the main events of the past two weeks…The sense of connection brought on by the crisis has only been reinforced by learning of actual connections to those wounded or killed in the attack: the mother of the child who died belongs to my gym; one of those killed was a neighbor of a friend; a nurse in our hospital lost a leg. I found myself wondering if I’d seen or even spoken to any of these people, if our paths had physically crossed… though it doesn’t matter really, as we are all connected somehow, whether we know it or not.
People are clearly rattled by the whole mess, as evidenced by a whole lot of patient requests for Benzos at the office. And I’m writing the prescriptions. Why not? As one PhD psychotherapist I know once told me, “Everyone should be able to use at least ten Xanax a month. The world would be a better place.”
With this all in the background, we’ve also personally had alot going on. Babyboy’s schedule is always booked, with behavior and speech therapy almost every day. Hubby is on the road, a very long road trip, almost 2 weeks this time. Our childcare resources are stretched… Nana is working overtime, and is coming down with something to boot; our babysitter has put in some really long days; our next door neighbor and savior/ cupcake baker has been over here several nights helping me with the bedtime routine…
And Hubby has had a major career boost this week. He’s landed a high-profile media position, his absolute dream job, a well-deserved big break. I am so, so happy for him, even as, as he put it, “It’s all falling on you right now.”
It’s not really, as I said, our childcare resources are all engaged. Of course, it is alot of work to go to work five clinical sessions a week, and share care of two kids under 3 years old, while your partner is away, no matter how much help you have. On the other hand, I am truly so proud and honestly thrilled to have Hubby achieving his lifelong dreams. I don’t think there’s any reason to feel resentful that he’s away. I feel like I can be supportive and still keep my job and not get mad about it… though I recognize that I have good reason to be tired.
I had an eye appointment last week, with an ophthalmologist who actually went to medical school with one of my (female) colleagues. Every time I see him, he asks about so-and-so, and we chat. Last week, I had an appointment with him, in the midst of all the craziness. He asked me how my husband was, and I told him a bit about how well things were going for Hubby; then he asked me how old my kids were now, and I told him.
He shook his head and laughed and said, “Wow, and you still choose to work outside the home?”
I think I was so shocked to hear that question that I didn’t say anything at all. I think that regardless of anything Hubby is doing, it would never occur to me to NOT work outside the home. The question was just so preposterous. It seemed to come from another culture.
We got through the appointment and I left… without addressing the question.
The events of the past week have made us so, so grateful for what we have. Yes, our lives are kind of hectic, our house is a mess, and I work, and Hubby is away… but with all the family help we have, and the tight neighborhood and church communities we enjoy, we feel that our kids are being raised right. No one needs to “stay home”.
We are home.