Heavy Days… Amazing Days

I’ve had a stretch of heavy-duty workdays. This is “heavy” in the sense of illness and acuity… It’s just odd how things come in bunches and bundles.

Monday, I got a page from radiology that a patient I had sent for a scan had a mass that was probably cancer. As soon as I saw the page was about her, I cringed… It was one of those cases where the symptoms could have been something benign, where her exam was totally normal, where I could have just as easily not ordered imaging, where we could have decided to “wait and see if that happened again”… It was another doctor who said, I would image that. So I did, and it wasn’t good. That was a tough phone call to make.

Yesterday and today I sent very sick people to the emergency room… a handful, actually. All with different things, all requiring alot of coordination/ communication… Two are admitted to our hospital now.

And each clinic session I usually see one or two new patients. The past week, I’ve seen more complicated new patients, lovely folks who truly require long initial visits and a real study of their records. Usually, the records are paper records faxed or mailed or carried to the clinic, and it takes forever to find meaningful data. I’m flipping through sheaths of fuzzy copies during and after the visit, searching for: that last hemoglobin A1c; the last colonoscopy with the path report on those polyps; that abnormal EKG; those darned immunizations… Then making referrals, getting the lady with the advanced chronic medical illness linked to the key specialist; connecting the depressed lady with therapy and psychiatry; beginning a workup for unexplained gastrointestinal symptoms of several months’ duration…

It’s all fine and good, it’s my job, and overall, I like it. But.

But Hubby’s been away and the traffic has been horrendous and Babygirl woke up before 5 am today and needed to be rocked back to sleep…

I need a bit of a mental break, a chance to get back into my exercise routine, to go shopping, to take the kids to the Children’s Museum or the beach. Or even, dream of dreams, to go out to dinner with my husband! We did that once, a couple of months ago, thanks to Nana.

Saving grace: The kids have been so, so good lately. I don’t know what it is, maybe the fact that they are in a consistent bedtime routine resulting in longer and better sleep?

Just a few weeks ago, when I would pick the kids up at Nana’s after work, and come home, I could count on Babyboy bolting into the yard and needing to drag him kicking and screaming up the back stairs, or beg my neighbor to help me. Lately, for a week at at least, he’s a little angel. I say “Go up up up the stairs hon, we have to feed our hungry kitties!” and he says “Okay mommy,” and climbs right up the stairs. The both of them help me feed the ravenous cats, then we all trundle up to the bath.

We often have some kind of protest around bathtime and/or getting into pajamas, but it’s short-lived and they seem very happy to get their warm milk and start settling in…

Bedtime has been easier and easier. They seem to LIKE going to bed: both will “request” to go into their cribs even when I would have sung one more lullabye… I suppose the moms out there know, but I can’t begin to explain to people who don’t know, how amazing it is when your kids start going to bed easily and sleeping well. Amazing.

And so, heavy week, but also, amazing week. Need a break for balance/ fun/ breathing though.