“You made call sound so easy!” said a friend of mine yesterday, referring to my last post. I need to correct that! When I said there were some “hairy moments”, I meant, AWFUL moments.

I was reduced to tears during one flurry of calls: So, Babyboy is still inconsistent with potty training, and several  members of his team suggested a Miralax regimen. Maybe he was constipated, and what we were seeing was liquid stool leaking around a solid mass? Gross to think about, but, we’ll try anything.

Meantime, Babygirl hasn’t been eating as much fruit lately, and she became obviously, impressively constipated. So, we HAD to do the Miralax thing.

I bought a hefty jar of the stuff, and Thanksgiving, we began the kids’ clean out.

Unfortunately, we ended up with uncontrollable diarrhea in both kids. Babygirl hasn’t had a #2 accident in months, and my Saturday of call, she had three. Babyboy, don’t even get me started.

So of course, it was during a conversation with a patient that they both had explosions, at the same time. Plus, they were absolutely haywire, the house was wrecked, food and toys and POOP on the living room rug, and I was trapped on the phone, glued to my laptop. I couldn’t do a darned thing but put on the TV and hope they would at least stay in one place with the poop, and hope that the patients I was trying to listen to over the din had kids and understood.

I estimate that I cleaned up eight or ten poop messes on Saturday. The kids had several baths. The house smelled. I felt disgusting. And yes, I hung up the phone at one point, took a look around, and burst into tears.

The kids didn’t get it. “Mommy, why is your face so red?” asked Babygirl.

I decided to just tell her the truth. “I just can’t deal with any more poop, hon.” Sniffle.

“Oh.” She thought about this. “Well, you could just leave it and let Daddy clean it up!”

Who couldn’t smile at that? Of course, he wasn’t due home for another day, so it wasn’t realistic, but it was funny.

Well, the calls stopped, the poop stopped, at least for awhile, and we ended up enjoying a lovely dinner at Nana’s. All ended well.

But I didn’t want to leave anyone with the wrong impression!